Am I worthy?
I have been on quite a journey the last 10 months of my life. God has ignited things in me that he told me 10 years ago, He has changed me, set my spirit on fire and over the last few weeks challenged me with trials to strengthen and concrete my faith in preparation of things to come.
As I stressed and struggled over my own ability to complete what God said I would do I got to the point where I said to God "I can't do this! I am not ready! I am not able! I am not worthy!"
At that moment, He showed me a picture of Him kneading and rolling out dough. Stretching, pulling, applying pressure but with care and purpose. It was clear I was the dough.
After being led to read the book of James (which I have never liked reading until now!) I came to this conclusion about what I was going through;
God does not allow trials, disappointments or opposition in your life so you can prove your worthiness but so he can prove in you Jesus' righteousness, Jesus worthiness, Jesus performance and Jesus' ability.
His desire is not to see you fail or 'test' you but to produce in you patience to see His promises fulfilled, so that you can become mature and never lacking in supply.
This is why you can consider rough times pure joy. Not because the things you experience makes you feel joyful but because you KNOW God is taking you to a greater place of capacity. An ability to hold His provision, greater provision. For a greater supply, a greater container is needed. A greater container needs a greater supply.
But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:4 NKJV)
So as you go through rough times and challenges where your faith is challenged by your circumstances that fly in the face of Gods promises, realise that God did not allow this to see you fail, but so He could produce in you an ability to pour out more of Him.